#but i love this horribly cunty man | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lobotomytypebeat · 9 months ago

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! Making a fan homestuck msfpa called KEYBOUND !

Keybound is a indie project by solely one person (me lmao...) This post is to share what i have already done so far, and what you all shall expect from this project!

CHARACTERS OTTO EVERRET

⇢ Otto everett is a kid passionate about adventures and mythological creatures, with a dream to be a fantasy hero and explore fantasy lands he has always dreamt about deep on his mind. Always looking for adventure he tends to put himself more onto trouble than…actually helping, but he tries.

Otto everett is a stubborn and determined kid, which could also be a HUGE pain in the ass sometimes. He has good intentions but sometimes doesnt have the easiest of times of voicing his good intentions.

Despite being very outgoing and a social butterfly…Otto is lonely, very lonely, as he lives isolated on the mansion and as he has been homeschooled by his father his entire life, the only connection to the outside he knows, its the woods and the rivers. Never really having contact with other kids and mostly running through the mansions halls and secret entrances, pretending to have great adventures slaying a dangerous beast.

Otto lives in a rustic mansion in the middle of the woods, with a huge observatory, huge walls, hell the mansion even having its own dinosaur fossil room. Otto is the son of Edric everett and Margaret Fields Edric everett is a renowed scientist in the science field and Margaret Fields is, one of the most renowed paleontologists that has stepped onto the scene and that has made great advancements. Unfortunately Margaret Fields had died in a nuclear breach right after Otto was born, killing her due to the explosion and overtime nuclear exposure. …though this is not exactly the case. Margaret did indeed die due to the nuclear breach…but while she was pregnant with Otto. The loss had brought immense grief to Edric, losing both his newborn son, and beloved wife. But due to the means of ectobiology, Edric recreated Otto with a exact copy of Margaret's DNA, making Otto essentialy…a clone of his mother. Otto has been raised as a fetus inside a incubator projected by his father.

DANN HARVEY

┇DANN HARVEY

⇢ Dann harvey is a absolute mess who is loud and in general very sociable and friendly…despite his social battery running out way too fast which is kind of ironic since he will shrink up like a dried raisin.

Dann is actually allergic to most things…for example lettuce for a reason, but he will eat it ANYWAY and almost FUCKING DIE.

Dann oftenly gets himself into dangerous situations and falls way too much for his own good…and will still joke through all of it at the end of the day like its funny haha when he is at a ER with two broken legs and a spine snapped in half. Peak commedy.

Dann wears the most atrocious shirts known to man with the most horrible cheesiest catch phrases. For example " show me your bobbers and i will show you my pole " or simply " professional racist " with race cars on it. Or straight up cunty queen with unicorns and rainbows plastered all across it.

In general dann is a mess of a teenager who is way too obsessed with tetris and minecraft and mountain dew and doritos…and most definetly has been a ipad kid.

Dann is also asmathic…its shitty as fuck paired up with a shit ton more of allergies he has.

Dann now currently lives with his loving grandma as he had switched from various and various foster homes. His grandma is the sweetest person alive and he loves her very very much.

Despite being energetic and a very outgoing person, Dann is someone who gets really stuck on his own thoughts and tends to think very negatively about himself when he is left alone. And in general dann is a highly anxious person and someone who CANNOT SIT STILL FOR THE LIFE OF HIM. He feels the primal urge that he has to unleash the beast at any second possible or else he will combust into sparkles and rainbows.

Dann is also prone to producing BIOHAZARDS ON THE KITCHEN HE CANT COOK FOR SHIT.

Dann's hobbies dont extend only to being way too enthusiastic about minecraft or tetris, but yet about collecting LPS and pokemon cards. Despite not being able to SIT THE FUCK DOWN FOR ONE SECOND, he really does care about his friends. He'd jump in the fucking cadiilac and hug a cactus in the name of friendship.

He genuinely does his best to lift up the spirits of his friends and make them happy, including being loud as fuck with them, and screaming at the whole entire world with them.

HARRIET BELLATRIX | her name in actuality is just Bell lmao, her momma wants her to sound fancy schmancy all of the time |

┇ HARRIET BELLATRIX

⇢ Harriet is a more closed off individual who finds enjoyment in small things and in general activities such as gardening and manual work. Her biggest passion being robotics.

Harriet is often underestimated by the way she dresses as well…its definetly not how kids in 2012 dress nowadays and she looks like she is going to a rainfaire. But harriet just dresses like that due to genuinely just enjoying herself and having a place on her heart for fashion, as she thinks she has to please anyone but herself.

Despite looking more closed off and serious, harriet is actually quite the enthusiastic individual who finds herself hyped up and energetic over interacting with friends and doing the things she enjoys.

Harriet may be a understanding person, but she has a huge sense of justice and a incredibly rebellious attitude, which causes her to have disagreements quite often, especially in situations of people not being treated equally or fairly as she will take issues onto her own hands and usually give people a piece of their mind without thinking twice. And one of her other main issues is her complex that she has to fix anything and everything, even if it seems absolutely impossible, her perfectionism also gets in the way most of the times as she thinks that if one specific thing goes wrong, it'll be an avalanche and everything will go downhill…while at the same time she cannot follow a schedule.

Harriet actually has bonds to royal family and lives in a huge castle on top of a mountain…that barely has any internet acess at all and its incredibly far away from town.

Harriet's mom lets say she is…..a conservative of royal values. Everything has to be on time, stat, ponctual and flawless etiquette…if the requirements arent met, lets say she wont hesitate to throw one of her own kids to the dungeons.

This may come as surprising to some, but harriet is absolutely obsessed with FURBIES, furbies being her absolute favorite thing in the planet. Harriet isnt exactly…a fan of etiquette or overcomplicated words and fancy schmancy terms. And in fact harriet does kind of have a southern accent and prefers to be more simple and open minded about things. She is quite the goof actually.

ELIN CARVALHO

┇ELIN CARVALHO

⇢ Elin carvalho is a brazilian transgirl that lives on a rented apartment in São Paulo.

Elin is a chill person, who pretty much is joking most of the time, finding humor even in bad situations that might occur to her, and she just so happend to look like she is stoned all of the time, well, she isnt in fact stoned, but it looks like she is due to how chill she actually is to a concerning level actually.

Her humor happens to be incredibly broken, laughing even at a single loaf of bread falling to the floor, as well, she finds any situation pretty entertaining and humorous.

She spends inumerous hours spamming her friends with memes and copypastas on the internet, and trolling random kids in the most depraved and degenerate internet forums, with saterical copypastas or just annoying the hell out of them.

Piracy is her roman empire and she literally strives to take down the capitalistic government, every single game and computer program she has? pirated, everything is pirated, and she may had installed a virus or two by accident and still insists her PC is fine despite it visibly not doing so great and it may be on the edge of exploding.

Elin is constantly humorous due to only wanting to bring more of a positive vibe to negative situations…even though she may come off as insensitive or rude, its not her intentions, she only wishes to make her friends and loved ones feel happy and not loathe on their misery.

Elin is someone who is very aware and sensitive about her surroundings, she knows when someone is feeling bad or not, and will help them however she can, and will do everything to make their day at least a little bit better and a little bit more acceptable.

Despite her humorous and constantly joking nature, elin lives with a abusive, strict, transphobic religious fanatic mother, that has a big skepticism towards technology and the internet.

Elin has a passion for making her own pirated programs…and saterical trojans for the funny haha.

THE CLASSPECTS

》▪︎ Gravity The gravity aspect is for the rule breakers, not because of rebellion or the need to change things, but just for the complete fun of it, afterall, rules are meant to be broken. Though they may be rebellious by nature, nothing too extreme as they never go after to change the rules, they just want to have fun. The ones that are gravity bound are random and playful by nature. Not the " rawr means i love you in dinosaur " kind of quirky and random but rather " i brought a raccoon to school because i wanted it as a pet and gave everyone rabies " kind of random. Gravity bound people are completely reckless, impulsive, random and absolutely unhinged, but are incredibly fun people to be around and amazing friends.

Gravity is...self explanatory, gravity manipulation. Altering gravity on any planet at will, even travelling throuought different spaces and even dimensions relying heavily only in gravity. The abilities of gravity bond players is also, floating and flying, teleportation, walk on walls, water, and etc, any type of surface.

》 ▪︎ Rift

The rift aspect in nature is more bold and cold, more observing of peoples surroundings and their own surroundings. Though one of their characteristics is that sometimes they may be too blinded by their own values and opinions. Rift bound people are creative and think outside the box a lot, oftenly finding ways out of situations no one really ever thought before. Other than the creativity one of their other main characteristics is the issue on expressing themselves through facial expressions, mostly relying on body gestures. In general people who are rift bound are very quiet and reserved and in general desire to be alone most of the time. Despite the lack of emotion those who are rift bound tend to be very emotional and sensitive, their facial expressions and tone never seem to match up with what they are feeling. Rift bound people tend to find themselves frustrated quite easily when they fail to do tasks, and mostly have trouble asking for help. They oftenly get easily irritated when things dont go their way, and they can be oftenly hypocritical. The abilities to those that are rift bond is opening portals, and tearing space and time to create wormholes for easy travel. those who are rift bond can use their portals to shoot laser beams out of them, and reflect attacks against opponents. Their other abilities may include, reality warping, flight, teleportation.

》 ▪︎ Plague

Plague is the aspect of the damned and the sufferers. The aspect of plague comes with acceptance and learning that the world isnt a completely positive place, though they are accepting they wont entirely do good to you, but be rather pessimistic due to the things they have already seen in their lives, thinking its all going to go the same way, they arent healers, they arent perfect beings, they cant fix or help you, but will be there for you. Plague bound players have one of many characteristics in common: Being self destructive to themselves and potentially destructive to others. Though they truly have wisdom of their actions, some may be way too blinded by their own actions and the world around them might twist to a different narrative pretty easily as they are easily influenciable surprisingly. Plague bound players can be quite explosive and unpredictable, which makes them even the more destructive to themselves and potentially others. They arent the root of all evil of course, they arent notorious or bad, but can definetly be dangerous, we do not reinforce stereotypes here buddy.

The plague aspect is mainly damage focused. They are associated with destruction and decay. The plague aspect can infest a wide ratio area with destruction, causing the area to slowly become inhabitable by any living creature or foe. In healing classes such as saint or enchantress, they will not heal, but rather drain health from foes and enemies to heal themselves. They are uncapable of healing teammates, if trying to do so, they will further drain their health and also make them sick.

》▪︎ Creation The creation aspect is to those who want to make a difference in the world they are in, even if their help is small or big. Creation bound players make differences in the world not by changing things or help fix whats already broken, but yet, create something new, build something that could improve peoples lives from the ground up. Creation bound players highly enjoy being near those they love, friends, family, and partners. They sure can be overprotective of their loved ones, but its only because around them, they grow very weary. Creation bound aspects have a tendency to not let go of the past despite starting a fresh start, as they may still hold a grudge or the past had scarred them badly, they will be hurt and still be hurt for a long time even after creating a new path for themselves, but in general, creatiom bound individuals are very strong people who had it really rough, and will continue to create a new fresh start to themselves and their loved ones from the ground up. They arent perfect and they accept that, and are willing on improving on their flaws, get better as a human being. In general creation bound people are very responsible of their own actions and will hold themselves accountable if they've done something wrong or damaging to others, and are willing to make it up for them in any way possible. Creation bound people are very closed off due to the hurt they've experienced before in life, and they may be skeptical of many things that may come their way.

The abilities of a creation bond player is obviously well...creation. They can create and perfectly replicate already living beings, and they can interact with the enviroment around them heavily, even creating new life on these enviroments. Though they are not only limited to creating life, but also giving life to inanimate objects and beings.

》▪︎ Wrath The aspect of pure skepticism, negativity and unsureness, but yet the one of leardership and understanding. The aspect of wrath is to the ones who are frustrated and fed up with life, tired of everything, feeding off of their own anger, fear, skepiticism. The feeling they have to lash out at any circumstance for pure self defense and for their own sakez the feeling that not everything is perfect or ok and that something terrible will happen in any god damned moment and its just lurking around the corner, waiting to jump out of the shadows. Feelings of doubt and uncertainty surround these who are wrath bound, constantly. But its not as bad as it seems. Wrath bound people are compassionate of other peoples pains and feelings, and will be a great guide through the dark tunnel. Despite all their doubt and uncertainty, they make deep connections with others, they are kind all around these tough spiky edges. They are highly explosive and have a very short temper, they are impatient and can be pretty over posessive of their things, and overobsessive of things they like and are mostly negative abound their surroundings due to feeling the need to fight constantly and defend themselves at all costs, which makes them find themselves explaining every single action of theirs out of pure fear. But despite all of this, they are great leaders, though they may be rough most of the time.

The ones who are wrath bond can convert their own pure hatred and anger into strength, this also goes to other negative feelings, such as fear. Their attack rate, and strength gets stronger the angrier and frustrated they are. The ones who are wrath bond can cause multiple attacks and wounds in a short amount of time, like everything is in slow motion. Their screaming can deafen and temporarily paralyze enemies, though it also can affect their allies. The aspect of wrath can temporarily stunt the attack, defense, and buff of enemies, making them incredibly vulnerable. They can heal themselves by entering contact with blood, any kind of blood and posess superhuman strengh, with enhanced durability.

》▪︎ Faith Faith is the aspect of the ones who are incredibly positive, to the ones who see the good in everything, though sometimes to a negative degree, to the point of toxic positivity and false hope. People who are faith bound have one characteristic in common, a immense savior complex, though it manifests in many different ways, in any way shape or form, they believe they are responsible for assisting other people, or in general that they are responsible for other peoples lives and their choices, especially if they are in a bad situation. Despite having good intentions, they can come off as controlling or bossy, when they believe something is a wrong or bad choice, and their savior complex oftenly gets on the way, even blinding themselves from the truth or even others.

The aspect of faith has the ability of telekinesis, illusion manipulation, telepathy, healing, and even in some cases, possession, flight, and calming enemies down, making them more vulnerable.

》 ▪︎ Sight Sight and Waves walk side by side as a balance dynamic. Right off the bat...Sight is different from Waves, literally and metaphorically. Sight bond players are incredibly aware of their surroundings, which cause them to be heavily paranoid almost all of the time. They always have gut feelings and can be quite judgemental of others at first. They are way too aware, way too aware of other peoples feelings and their surroundings, its like a sensory overload as they are always aware of everything and they can feel that something will happen at any second and at any waking hour. Hell they are even self aware of their own behavior all of the time and wont sleep for days and countless hours thinking about their life choices and what they did. Their abilities may include, future foresight, retrocognition, psychometry, dermo-optical perception, precognition, enhanced superhuman hearing and sight, hypersensitivity to surroundings enhanced, enhanced agility and speed. They are able to see through illusions and hallucinations...as they are too self aware, they will not be fooled by them, but yet be further paranoid. Their powers give them so much sensory overload that they may simply just break down at random.

》 ▪︎ Waves Chill laidback people who are mostly in their own world. They can blend in perfectly with the energy of others and be calm in severe situations, doing things with a calm mind and examining things carefully. Though due to how calm they are, they can be quite carefree and not be so aware of their surroundings or the feelings of others, afterall calm and chill doesnt exactly mean beinv aware of everything and anything and being thi divine god that always knows what to do. Once they learn the patterns they can flow and blend in, but at first they can be quite lost in a tricky situation, as wave bond people also tend to be quite clumsy and careless.

Their abilities include, hydrokinesis, water breathing, flight, walking on water, generating water, control the weather, boiling water or turning it into ice, enhanced agility while swimming.

》 ▪︎ Determination (if i see undertale jokes im disowning yall)

The determination aspect walks side by side with rebellion. As afterall, to change a unfair situation and bring equality and peace, you need…a lot of determinatoon and strong willed individuals. They are charming individuals who are able to gain peoples trust easily.

Determination bond are strong willed individuals, with their main common traits are, very passionate about their interests, and having a strong bond to friends, family and romantic partners, and creating connections with people rather easily.

Though…determination bond people tend to be very naive and easily manipulated, and usually needs the help of an outside force to open up their eyes, since due to their naive nature, they are blind to peoples manipulation.

Determination bond players are in general, very good willed people…but they are just way too blind as most of the time, they believe everyone is good, but when their eyes are open and their mind is clear, they will do anything to fight off evil and protect their loved ones.

Determination bond players are basically stackers, stacking attack statuses and buff statuses when they are inflicted any damage, though oppositely from wrath, they use positivity and ambition to deal more damage. They are more of a defensive class, their main weapons being shields and creating large bubbles around them to defend themselves and other teammates. They can change the size of their own weapon to make them bigger or smaller. They have enhanced strength and in general senses.

》 ▪︎Rebellion bond The rebellion bond aspect is…self explanatory.

People who dont abide by the rules, with the main goal to change what is unfair and give everyone equal chances, though sometimes being way too passionate about what they do and their motivations, they are good willed people.

Rebellion bond people tend to have trouble with communication, as their pursue for change isnt exactly the most stable. They may end up getting in disagreements or arguments with fellow teammates when they have opposing opinions. They have good intentions, of course, but their pursue for change and approach can be quite tricky…as they are more of the " i need to solve this now, this will be future me problem, im dealing with the consequences later. "

They are more of a strength and attack focused class, those who are rebellion bond have a enhanced awareness of where a enemies weak point is and will target that weak point, their attack is not enhanced, however now their attacks are sharper and have a better piercing proficiency. They posess limited telekinesis, being able to push enemies away or bring them closer at high speeds. They dont fly but yet they can float up in the air and not take fall damage. They can temporarily freeze enemies in place or simply paralyze them.

》 ▪︎ Soul Those who are soul bound feel a inner connection with themselves and their true selves. The soul is irrational, impulsive, the definition of having hearts for brains. They are highly emotive and sensitive, though of course, its not a bad thing. Despite their emotions getting in the way of thinking rationally, they are truly good people. They dont have issues on expressing who they are, they stand out from the crowd, and are proud of it, they arent ashamed to be who they are inside. They have a deep connection with friends, family, and partners.

The powers of those who are soul bound are heavily focused on emotion. They can absorb the feelings of others to themselves, such as bad feelings, and etc. Their shadow acts as its own being if they even so desire, and they are also able of controlling the shadow of others. If overwhelmed, a protection barrier will be formed around them, that blocks all sound and any contact from the external world. Their tears have healing properties and relaxing properties, being able to heal the deepest of wounds and relaxing someone when they are the most overwhelmed. They also posess Pathokinesis, the power of projecting one's own emotions onto other people. They can create objects and other moveable beings out of their own shadow. and one of their other abilities is psychometry.

》 ▪︎ Instinct

The instinct bound feel the need to put on a role or a different perspective of what they actually are. Not because they feel the need to hide, but because they feel that they can express themselves more by putting up a different mask and a different role. Instinct bound players are rational and think mostly with their brain, which drives them to not be the most sensitive of the bunch...not because of malice or bad will, but mostly because they are cold individuals that have trouble with expressions, expressing their feelings through voice tone or body language, and in general lack more empathy than usual and its not something that they can control. Though instinct bound tend to be a bit self absorvant, they arent a creature of seven heads, but they make mistakes, they are human afterall.

Their main abilities are strong telekinesis, xenoglossy, bilocation, astral projection at will and even summon an ally from astral projections, controlling their own reflections on mirrors and even the reflection of others, also being able to pull the reflections out of the mirrors.

┆NULL BLOODS ╶ Null bloods are a odd type of trolls. Null bloods are a type of troll that can shift their own blood onto the blood of other trolls and adapt to their specific characteristics so they can blend themselves in society. Its like shapeshifting, but with blood if you will. Null bloods are a bloodcaste that have been exterminated by unknown causes, but most likely exterminated due to the potential of dethroning the rulers of alternia. Null bloods are artificially made trolls, by a olden forgotten technique, the troll alchemy. Made with the sole purpose as a bag of donating their own organs and blood transfusions, a walking sack of organ donations. Null bloods mostly have had no autonomy in the past as they were seen as nothing but helpers and offerings. The blood color of a null blood is completely grey, and it goes through a transumation alchemical process inside their bodies to match the exact blood of the nearest troll nearby. They cannot shift their blood onto a specific color in free will, they have to have another troll right next to them for that to occur. The components of a null blood in the alchemical process are different parts of multiple different animals, and other natural components, as also fresh blood from other trolls. Its almost the same process as creating a chimera.

┆How to spot a NULLBLOOD on its RAW FORM? ↪ Nullbloods on their true characteristics may include the following features. ↱ ADULT NULL BLOODS ᎒ Long limbs. Especifically and especially the arms and legs. Long and rooted unicorn like hurn purtruting on the middle of their forehead. Long ears, slim tail, spikes growing on their backs. Sharper features, long fangs and a strong carapace across their body. A lot of body hair and fur. Tall, incredibly tall, getting to an avarage of 9 feet tall.

____________________________ ↱ YOUNG NULL BLOODS ┋Lanky and tall, shorter horns. Carapace and fangs are as not as developed. They walk awkwardly due to their height. White spots all across their body, these grow out overtime as they grow up.

------------------------------------------------ Rift ferrets

Rift ferrets are a subspecies in the grand variety of rift creatures. Rift ferrets being the most friendly and mischevious between the rift beasts, they mostly cause no harm unless you startle them. Rift ferrets generally are in groups and in colonies of more than 1000 ferrets. The colonies being multiple wormholes in the universe and space, and in general they inhabit milkyway and other galaxies. The rift ferret, is 65 cm in length, with a long tail that posesses a wisp-like effect. Their bodies emit a soft glow. This variant, the original variant, lives in society with other rift ferrets, and build their burrows in moons. Rift ferrets have the ability to float as a way to travel throuought space. This variant is known as " the original variant " as it is what rift ferrets looked like before adapting to the habitats of prospit or derse. This variant is not as common anymore, and is the verge of extinction as rift ferrets move their burrows to prospit or derse. The population of the original variant is scarse, now you may find only groups of about 5 or 10 of these willow-wy wisp fellas. Rift ferrets have mutated and changed as they started to inhabit the planets of prospit and derse. The habitat around them changing their physiology, behavior, and how they live.

PROSPIT VARIANT

The prospit variant is more friendly and outgoing by nature. Highly curious about its surroundings and they tend to play with eachother a lot. Hunt in packs and share their prey. The hunting stragedy of a prospitian rift ferret is to use the stars that float on top of its ears to spread a colorful glitter-like substance that will attract fellow gravity mice and void beetles due to its bright light and mesmorizing movement on the air. Their appearance may decieve many…but they are highly mischevious and will play pranks on foreigners. Prospitian rift ferrets seem to have a undeniable love for tuna. If felt in danger, Prospitian rift ferrets will stack on top of eachother and make a tower to scare off any harm.

Prospitian rift ferrets seem to be larger than Dersite rift ferrets. Being 70 cm in length and the size of a lap dog, while Dersite rift ferrets are smaller, being 50 cm in length.

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DERSE VARIANT

The dersite variant of the rift ferret is a more closed off and reserved specimen, not really socializing even with the ones of its own kind, as they frequently also tend to fight eachother and get into conflicts quite easily. They arent quite fond of foreigners and will mostly hide away in their burrows, though they will certainly wait for a moment to strike down anyone who they view and percieve as a threat.

Dersite rift ferrets have developed extremely good night vision and nocturnal habits due to derse being a dark habitat, so they could better navigate around, but one of their major weaknesses being light, and is one of the reasons as they have never set foot in prospit as the light is too bright, even the light emanating from the bodies of prospitian rift ferrets are too much for them.

Dersite rift ferrets are lone hunters, and will actively fight others of their kind for prey and food. They arent exactly the most friendliest of creatures, but are certainly very loyal, depicting affection with truly trusted ones like purrbeasts do. Dersite rift ferrets have a mechanism on their backs that rises up spikes from the back of their spike out of their own skin, launching the spikes onto targets, the spikes contain poison and can cause fatigue, migraines, throwing up, bleeding from the eyes and ears as the venom is too strong. Their backs is also a very sensitive area to them, so watch out.

What happend to prospit and derse?

The war between the two planets eventually lead to the destruction of both kingdoms and both civilizations. Prospitians and Dersites are now long gone as war had extended til' the modern days on the planet, and eventually led the monarchs and their society to their own demise. The obsession with the war and past happenings led these societies to their end.

the planets are now composed of multiple abandonned buildings and ruins. The golden city of prospit has multiple buildings knocked down or mostly only their structure intact, while its overrun by black plants with sharp spikes and white glittery moss, while the planet of derse is surrounded by white vines latching onto their buildings, and huge black flowers spread all across the city, white fungi with yellow sparkling substances on their stems would grow to large sizes and would make a entire root system across the planets. Both planets have the aesthetic of a post apocalyptic setting in a modern world. Strange plants have shown up on the planet, mostly invasive species, and life has taken its course as new life started to inhabit the planet. Rift ferrets have seen to be taken a liking of the inhabited planets…making it their new homes and slowly constructing a new society.

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》New machines of this new version of SBURB

▪︎ Sacradia box ; The sacradia box is a huge machine which works like a vending machine. Deposit a certain amount of grist and a randomized item or prepunched card will pop right out! But watch out as the items get launched from the machine and not gently deposited onto your tiny grubby hands. Hell it may even take out some of your HP.

Keyquinox ; source to the creation of planets and worlds in this version of SBURB The keyquinox machine has the capability of generating a world key from a totem lathe or merge two keys to form a completely new generated land, the key of the formation of planets of this new universe as possibilities are endless.

Transporter ; The transporter is essentialy a portal where you put your key or a generated key from the " keyquinox " to generate and enter new worlds and planets. Inside the portal once you step in, is an empty void with a hub full of doors that stand on the void which you can unlock with the keys, opening doors to new realms or realms that you already once knew.

The clockwork: The clockwork is a cilindrical machine with a huge arc over it that is used to obtain a TOTEM. But go fast, as the first time you open the cilindrical machine, a timer will go by and the clock that stays right on top of the machine will start ticking loudly.

The workshop: Used to produce totem lathes with punched cards.

Alchemy table: Used for alchemization and creation of objects….but it looks…oddly different from what its supposed to be.

Pryntix 9000 : generic ass name for a machine that punches cards for you…its actually not something you place but yet its something small which you can carry around. It resembles a paper clipper which is sorta funny.

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but what are the keys for anyway? how do they work? where do they come from? This will all be explained in this box of text! follow my lead as i will be your guide to the ultimate KEY WIKIPEDIA. The universal keys are a peculiar object, as there is no point of origin to these phenomenoms. But they came along with this new curious version of sburb. The keys seem to have bars and lines of universal undecipherable code that isnt from this world we currently know. The key seems to be highly aware of its user and holder…as its bars of code start changing and morphing based off of who the holder is as a person. Knowing their passions, aspirations, true desires and purpose. the keys are a granted PATHWAY to the creation of new planets and worlds on this new SBURB, based off of the code that resides inside the keys. A whole new world, new fauna, new locations, new flora, new biology and completely new lifeforms and enemies.

The KEYQUINOX is the machine responsible for the creation of these keys. But in order for the machine to work, a external influence has to activate the MAIN GATEWAY.

Main gateways are huge machines spread throughout the planet of skaia…the planet we are familiarized with and truly know. It is a external force that has existed before the SBURB beta has even launched. All key variants were created after the MAIN GATEWAYS were activated…except for one variant of key, the chaos star key, which is currently now in the posession of a holder. The current active gateway resides deep inside a subterranian temple, that can be acessed through a cave. The reason they are there? who the fuck knows, but they look old as fuck, almost ancient.

[ Trolls over the years have developed and evolved, adapting new characteristics. ] Rustbloods and Bronzebloods Have Evolved in Many Different Ways, These Two Bloodcastes Have Developed Their Pupils To Be Shaped More Like The Pupils That Are Present On: Goats, Deer, Sheep, And Many More. Rustbloods and Bronzebloods Have Started To Develop More Fur On Their Backs, Arms, And Legs, Along With Hooves, Tuft Tails, Or Short Nubby Tails, Spot Markings, Rooted Horns, More Antlerlike Horns, And More Goatlike Ears. There Tends To Have A Variation Of The Furs That Form On The Trolls Body, For Example, Texture And Form. These Bloodcastes Now Experience Hoof, And Horn Overgrowth, And in Some Trolls, Even The Change of Horns Overtime, Just Like Deer do. If Horn Overgrowth Isnt Taken Care of, It Could Harm The Troll as in Some Cases, The Horn May Be Too Close To The Eyes, And Could Permanentely Damage The Trolls Vision as The Horn Would Pierce Through The Eyes. Unfortunetly, Over The Years, Both Rustbloods and Bronzebloods Could Experience A Disease Called " Internal Rotting Disease. " A Disease That Overtime Rots Their Brain, Killing Every Single Neuron And Braincell They Have Alive, Including Parasites Infesting Their Stomachs, Eating Everything The Troll Consumes And Eating Them From The Inside Out. The symptoms of " Internal rotting disease " May include: The death of the braincells, thirst, stomach burning, itching feeling from the inside, progressively losing the ability of speech, tiredness, fatigue, exhaustion, diarhea, vomiting, vomiting blood symptoms start only being present after a sweep has passed, and the host of the disease is mostly unaware of it and may spread it to other trolls in the area, though it only affects rustbloods and bronzebloods especifically. currently no cure is known for this deadly disease, and up to 100+ trolls suffer from it every sweep, causing the mortality rate for lower bloodcastes to go further up.

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Goldbloods have envolved to have a extra set of arms, a moth-like or bee-like fuzz around their necks, bigger eyes and eyelashes, and their body patterns have developed to be more half and half, and a new mutation has emerged...conjoined troll twins. Two cocoons that have fused during formation, the phenomenom has emerging slowly through the years in alternia, the signs being more predominant. Most conjoined twins do not come out alive, as they are immediatly eleminated. Olive bloods have evolved to have more slit pupils, a set of more feline and canine teeth structure, their ears are now further above the head, coming in variations of: Perked ears, Bunny ears, Rat-like ears, Floppy ears, Long perked ears, Long flop ears, Canine flopped ears. They have started to develop longer tails and more fur across their bodies. More digitegrade legs, and body patterns that may include: Spots, Leopard patterns, stripes, sploches, gradients. another odd phenomenom that has been happening is olive bloods suddenly losing all control of their own actions...acting more like a beast than troll, losing all of the aspects that make them troll...the phenomenom is very similar to human lycanthropy.

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Jade bloods have started to develop body patterns that imitate very specific shapes...like swirls and waves and jade green gradients on their forearm, hands, legs and feet. Jade bloods have started to develop more butterfly and fairylike wings, grow more in size, reaching up to 6 feet. Teal bloods have started to develop body patterns that resemble more scales, and they have a tedency to be darker than the rest of the body or have pigment. Their characteristics overall being more similar to lizards, especially visible on their tails, and how they now posess brilles instead of eyelids.

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Cerulean bloods have started to develop body patterns that look like waves and resemble multiple eyes. Their grey skin tends to be in a darker tone and their body patterns always will have pigment no matter the circumstances. Cerulean bloods can now have eyes on their jugular, arms, hands, shoulders, and etc. Just like gold bloods, they can now posess more than one set of arms, and their tails now mostly resemble what a spider has on its back rear end. Cerulean bloods can now stick to walls easily and even walk on them. Indigo bloods, just like rustlboods, have developed more digitegrade legs and hooves for their feet. Their tail now resembles more like a horse, and their body patterns now resemble mostly how horse coat pattern looks like. Their body patterns also has way less pigment than other trolls, and they are more prone to having absolutely no pigment or melanin on their patterns especifically.

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The body patterns of purple bloods seem to be randomized, and have a white and purple gradient on them instead of having a solid color. Now purple bloods also have a tendency of painting over their natural body patterns rainbow. Their ears have enlongated in size, along with their legs getting lankier and taller, and their tail getting bigger. Their tail mostly resembles a tuft tail. Their teeth are now chunkier, wider and longer in size.

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Violet bloods and Fuchsia bloods almost have no differences. They have both developed more fishlike characteristics and are even more prone to have half of their body more fishlike. Their body patterns resemble more the patterns of orcas, sharks, clownfish, and many more fish species. Though now, fuchsia bloods seem to have been getting bigger, and developing more muscle mass than violet bloods.

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Mutants still are weaker than the avarage troll, though they are highly resistant and immune to poison and other toxic materials. Mutants dont have a defined body pattern, but seems to posess more gradiants than usual. Short nubby tails along with the short nubby horns. Mutant bloods have a 100% rate of having leucism on their body patterns, though leucism can occur on trolls, mutants have a 100% percent rate of leucism. Their sclera remains yellow, but their eyes are now more of a slit, and are in more of a white pale purple or red color.

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This is all i have for now folks! i will release extra content soon. reblogs appreciated! <3

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animentality · 1 year ago

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My friend doesn't understand why I'm so obsessed with Gortash and she's like he's ugly, though, you know that, right?

And I was like maybe he's ugly but have you considered just how fucking hot that is?

In the words of Tumblr.

Exceptional ugliness has become divine.

He could be a fucking Genshin faced anime boy, or a Final Fantasy twink baby man, or some boring ass Ryan Reynolds mocap motherfucker, but I would be significantly less interested in him if he was.

You don't understand me and you never will.

I love him for his soul. His evil horrible twisted rotten villainous soul that is bad and so not good.

I love him for his pathetic sad boy wet kitten ways.

I love him for his pathetic cunty swag-less bitching and complaining and his pompous arrogant thick head and his stupid emo boy hair and his horrible yet effective drip.

But mostly I love him because he's beautiful. Step off.

That man is a work of art. You might not appreciate him, but I do.

You just wish you could love the way I do, wholly and delusionally and without reason.

#enver gortash #baldurs gate 3 #bg3

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shizunitis · 4 months ago

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Tell me about Thousand Autumns and why I should read it. (I think that’s the thing you reblog a lot of with the guy with the white stripe in his hair?)

Aside from the fact that Yan Wushi, the love interest of the novel and Danmei’s cuntiest dilf, is my deadbeat father and legal guardian, and thus should inspire you to read it for his role in my life?

Basically: Read Thousand Autumns? Please? For me? 🥺

Actual answer under the cut since this is getting longer than I expected (I’m too tired to actually try and be concise about it, so sorry.)

It features: lying and deceit, sect politics, jianghu fuckery, a temporarily blind and depowered MC, political intrigue, awesome fight scenes, a wonderful cast of supporting characters, interesting takes on the cultivation system, social commentary, an incredible dynamic between the main couple that isn’t front-and-centre, dramatic not-confessions, and the sweetest little sex monster of a woman you’ll ever meet. (She’s my favourtie character. She’s like if Sha Hualing was in love with Shen Qingqiu. Do you see?)

It’s a much more mature relationship than what we see with SVSSS, by virtue of happening between two people whose identites are, in spite of their circumstances, on sturdier foundations.

Now, then, the circumstances:

Shen Qiao, who must start from the ground up in every possible way, while he’s suffering from amnesia—something which Yan Wushi takes full advantage of, the bastard—is the true embodiment of an enlightened daoist. He’s a former sect leader and an honest, hard-working, good person; he is also not a pushover, and the moments he decides to bother standing up for himself are more satisfying than if he retaliated with fury and vengeance. He is relentless in how fairly he treats the world in spite of its rejection of him.

Yan Wushi: villain-love interest, leader of a demonic sect, and a jaded man convinced of the world’s cruelty. He believes it an ugly, vicious place that will snuff out all light by force. He attempts to break down Shen Qiao’s righteousness and honesty by being very gay Disney villain about it, and tries to get him to join him and see the world theough his eyes. He’s cunty, and an asshole, and makes horrible decisions to prove his own convictions, and he pushes, and takes, and betrays, and does everything but lay down his arms and accept defeat, even in the face of certain death.

They have a convoluted, twisted road ahead of them from the very beginning of the story. And yet, they gravitate towards each other even when they renege each other, falling back into each other’s orbit not with ease, but ruled by a profound understanding of their differences. How they navigate them, how they make space for each other, how they interact— Wonderful. Beautiful. Excruciating. I adore them.

Whether by design or coincidence, their lives tangle so much that they become inextricably linked, and the longer the story goes, you begin to see the cracks in both of their resolves to try and change the other. Their dynamic is gripping.

It is, however, not the main plot of the novel. Arguably, their relationship features as an accessory to the plot, rather than its focus. It plays a big part in how the plot unfolds and it does affect both Shen Qiao’s and Yan Wushi’s relationship and interactions with the world, but it’s—

I kind of felt, you know, like it was being preserved away from the world in a way. Like it was kept for them. Don’t know exactly why, or how I could give arguments to support this idea without spoiling some stuff, but. They have married bickering couple energy. You know?

There’s some CW’s, for sure. If you need a list I can definitely lay them out, so shoot me another ask in that case. Otherwise, I hope my deeply sleep deprived attempt at listing off why Thousand Autumns is worth reading works. If not, I got to call Yan Wushi a gay Disney villain, so I got my needs met for today!

Also: Do I reblog Thousand Autumns that much? I know it’s more than Erha, but. Hm. Maybe I should make it a bit more clear exactly how I feel about Mo Ran. Wouldn’t want the hierarchy to be destabilised.

#thousand autumns #yan wushi #shen qiao #anon i hope this helped 😔 im v v tired and v v small brained right now #like a pigeon #also i havent read thousand autumns in a while so. so if anythings wrong and a yan wushi aficionado wants to take over. please do so #hes my dad i dont know shit about him #.q

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sillysnaildraws · 2 months ago

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And on another note, please ramble about my favorite character Romeo and any headcanons you have about him

The silly Bri'ish man? Well, better strap in, imma ramble your ear- no, that doesn't make sense... imma ramble your eyes out??

Whatever, god. Where do I start?

TW for an abusive family near the end. if that makes you uncomfortable, don't read it because I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. I will put a "keep reading" tab to make it easier to avoid.

I do see Romeo as a little skinnier than Xara and Fred, purely for the sake that he definitely relies on his powers a little too much. I mean, we see that in the game, he rarely isn't flying around and using teleportation. So with that, not only would I imagine he is thinner but also most definitely has very soft hands, and hands that are quite small compared to his partners, Xara and Fred. Though he kinda looks like a twink when I draw him with his cunty little poses and clothes, which was NOT intended. Sorry, Romeo..

I definitely think he hates feeling small. He isn't short in my head, compared to most characters, he is an average height, taller than most. But when it comes to taller characters like Axel, Aiden, Mevia, Xara or Fred, he looks small and he hates it. Especially compared to Xara and Fred because he only comes up to their shoulders. It's why I imagine he flies all the time, so he can be higher above people and feel big. Though there is a "good" small, as I would describe it, which is specifically when he is cuddled up against Fred and Xara. Feeling small in a more protected and loved way rather than a weak and vulnerable way.

I do imagine he is a bit insecure, which is related to his shit family, and will get defensive and snappy when someone points it out. He would probably struggle with saying "sorry" too, especially with the ego he has to almost protect himself. Romeo has this strange thing where he wants people around but also tends to push them away at the same time, which only further affects his mental state.

Like, you can't tell me Romeo is perfectly mentally well, he is quite unpredictable and definitely has mood swings all the time. Kinda like a cat but worse, he might be grumpy and not want to be touched but all of a sudden, he's draped over Fred and Xara, demanding cuddles. Though I imagine he can be a bit of a tease too, finding fun in playing little games.

After losing his powers, he definitely lost his confidence too. After all, he felt that his powers were all he had and was all that was important about him, which creates the little wet pathetic mess he becomes. But he doesn't stay like that, after a lot of time and healing, I'd imagine that confident, very close to arrogant personality of his would come back but not so... horrible? Is that the right word? I'd imagine Xara wouldn't mind putting him in his place though if he tried anything stupid. In my mind, I have an Admin oc called Amy who helps revive Fred, so the three are back together and healing with each other.

But like I said, even after they rebuild their relationship with each other or how much they love each other, she wouldn't hesitate to suplex him if he acted up. Then again, she would have done that before!

Gotta love him, even though he definitely does have tantrums. But for some reason, it works so well with a power hungry Admin who definitely has a problem with being too controlling. Which I created a whole backstory to explain why he feels the need to be in control. I'll get into that now.

I wrote about this in an AO3 fic but not in lots of detail. I see him as someone who was born into a family with brown hair and green eyes, so his unusual red hair and blue eyes are quite strange. But his family, instead of being normal and just going "Oh, cool. You have bright hair and eyes" they are dicks instead, using his differences to call him a disappointment or a freak. Though his family aren't the best, if it wasn't apparent. The parents are quite controlling, which is where I derive his need to be in control from. Trauma, put simply.

And, unfortunately, most of his relatives let themselves be basically molded into carbon copies of his parents and are quite horrible towards him, going as far as forcing his head under water before laughing at him when they let go. Though a young Alex and Steve protects him a few times when they saw it. His parents tried forcing him to dye his hair and wear contacts, which at first he refuses but eventually, once broken down, yields.

Upon seeing this, Alex and Steve are worried and Alex, being the hothead she is, goes to shout at the parents though Steve manages to calm her and instead get him away from the family, offering him a place to stay with them. A least a year goes by, and he'll be around sixteen and his red hair has grown out again. His parents find the place and the confrontation leads to him running away and meeting Fred and Xara.

#snailreplies #mcsm #minecraft #minecraft story mode #mcsm headcanons #mcsm romeo #mcsm xara #mcsm fred #minecraft alex #minecraft steve #xara x romeo x fred #romeo x xara x fred #fred x xara x romeo #admin shipping #mcsm admin #admin mcsm

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nortism · 10 months ago

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doctor who liveblog pt 18

s3 ep11 utopia

- jack harkness episode!!!!! he’s back from the war!!!

- always cardiff with these ppl

- AYYY JACKIE BOY

- uh oh the end of the universe

- oh fuck did jack die

- back from the brink of death and already flirting

- omg the doctor is a real dick 😭😭

- glad martha had someone to bond with

- yooo jack’s immortal??

- OMG THE PROFESSOR HAS THE WATCH

- OMG THE PROFESSOR IS A TIMELORD

- YANA YOU ARE NOT ALONE WHATTTTTTTTT

- omggggg he’s an evil timelord

- GET HIS ASS CHANTHO

- HES THE MASTER ?!??!!!?!!? i’ve heard of this guy

- CHANTHO NOOOOOOOOOO

- she’s still alive LETS GOOOO

- oh shit he’s in the tardis

- oh fucj he’s gonna regenerate

- why are u as a man calling another man master??

- oh no the tardis is gone, they are fucked

s3 ep12 the sound of drums

- oh they escaped that’s good

- oh he’s harold saxon

- martha i can’t believe u didn’t vote

- IS A DOCTOR

- idk why he decided that the uk was the country from which he needed to take over the world but that’s doctor who logic 😭😭

- good to see that tish got a nice new job

- oh fuck he’s killed the cabinet

- most unrealistic part of this episode is that an alien became prime minister without being part of one of the two main parties

- who’d call himself the doctor???

- wait what happened to my girl harriet jones?

- oh shit he’s gonna kill the journalist

- lucy ur husband is gay

- oh he’s a hypnotist

- FUCK THERES A BOMB

- good of him to warn her about the bomb he planted in her room

- YES THEN MARTHA’S DAD

- oh martha’s mum u fucked up

- theres a real fucked up homoerotic undertone to the doctor/master dynamic

- what did i say?

- ok i’m kinda obsessed with the master, he’s cunty as hell

- the teletubbies r pretty cool

- starting to think the time lords aren’t great

- oh fuck jack is in torchwood

- uh oh the phones r evil

- oh my poor girl 😭😭

- fucking americans

- oh shit martha’s parents

- oh no the tardis

- oh shit he just blew up the president

- i giggled

- laser screwdriver!!

- oh fuck he was behind the lazarus thing

- sorry the doctor getting old man-ified was a little funny

- OH FUXK YEAH THEYRE PLAYING VOODOO CHILD NOW THIS IS TELEVISION

- bye bye martha

- YES THEN MARTHA

- another fucking bible reference, they r loving those this season

- on one hand, it’s bad that the master is trying to end the world, one the other, cunty queer coded villains are what i come to 2000s television for

s3 ep13 last of the time lords

- this is a lot of pressure on martha, why isn’t it the immortal fucker’s job to save the world?

- ONE YEAR LATER???

- MARTHA MY LOVE

- OH YESS THE SCISSOR SISTERS, THIS IS CINEMA

- oh they’ve crucified jack harkness

- uh oh prison break

- the old man is being old man-ified again

- where’d he go

- oh jesus fuck that’s horrible

- oh this is the doctor at his most pathetic

- at least martha’s parents are back together

- WHAT THE FUCJ IS THAT IN THE SPHERE

- NO ITS THE HUMANS FROM THE FUTURE

- oh shit the professor is a snitch

- oh fuck here he comes

- OH YES THE POWER OF WORDS AND BELIEF

- OH YEAH SAVING THE WORLD WITH A HUG AND FORGIVENESS

- uh oh they telported

- yesss homoerotic fight on a cliff let’s goo

- oh yeah his wife!!!!

- i could do without the misogyny i won’t lie

- omg he fucking died

- rip king, be nicer to women in the next life

- FUCK OFF JACK IS THE FACE OF BOE

- aww the poor doctor alone again

- good on martha for knowing when to leave

- OH FUCK HE DID REGENERATE

- what

possibly controversial but i preferred s3 to s2 despite being a rose girlie always and forever. that ruled and I LOVE U MARTHA JONES

#nortism liveblogs doctor who #doctor who #doctor who liveblog #doctor who s3 #doctor who series 3 #tenth doctor #martha jones #the master #captain jack harkness #jack harkness #the face of boe #utopia #the sound of drums #the last of the time lords

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rainswept · 5 months ago

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why do you like chuuya /gen, like I dont mean to sound rude in anyway but why😭🙏

this is going under a read more because i started yapping and couldn’t stop. i’m sorry

his personality. hes so funny and hes such a bitch i love him. but also he’s an incredibly dynamic character. he’s well written and tbh that’s enough for me to like him already. he’s had so much shit thrown at him and very well could have become a horrible person but he’s not. others care about him and he cares about others. he hasn’t let himself become as bitter as he could have been. he is still so full of humanity despite it despite everything SEE NEXT PARAGRAPH

i’m a sucker for characters that are entirely completely human and yet don’t think they are, or struggle with whether they are or not (especially thinking so because of all the reasons that they are— but i suppose chuuya doesn’t really fit that part so i won’t get into that now.) like yes chuuya has (or had, i guess) a reason to believe he isn’t, but does that really matter when faced with the fact that you have emotions and blood just like everyone else? does your make matter when you’re not so different after all? it’s existential. it makes u think.

his crime list is about as short as he is and i find that wonderful

his lore/past/backstory whatever you want to call it. not even, he’s still going through it. man 😭. he’s had so much loss but not a single goodbye and i think that’s a really fucking good (and depressing) concept. he has never had the chance to mourn properly. he acts like he did.

hes cunty

his dynamic w dazai i find very compelling too. like yes they bicker and yes they fight and yes they “hate” each other (they don’t) but they also trust each other with their lives and have left them in each other’s hands too many times to count. it shows u the depth of both their bond but also the characters individually. they’re not entirely self sufficient.. they can obviously take care of themselves but they’re at their best when working togegher. i thinkt hats cool. FREINDSHIP IS MAGIC!!1! no but it shows u that even the strongest people arent at their best until theyre able to connect. not that dazai and chuuya have a model relationship at all… but there’s trust there. and that’s enough

hes hot

he makes me so viscerally and upsettingly sad

dog motifs. ok hear me OUT i’m SORRY but tbh the title was what got me interested in bsd in the first place. everyone is a stray in this show and i like that very much. i love characters that are LOYAL to a FAULT. i love characters with gnashing teeth and wagging tails. i love characters that hold so tight onto things their hands hurt and they end up causing them to flee. that “everything i’ve ever loved has claw marks on it”??? yeah give me that shit i will eat it up EVERY TIME. i love characters that are blinded by their senses of duty, not in the way that they’d do anything whoever they’re loyal to asks of them (though that is a nice dynamic too, i don’t think that’s as Chuuya ™️ as the other i’m talking about), but in the way that they’d lay down their life without a second thought (or caring about how those people see them). a dog that is beat may bite but but but it will still have its duty. even if it hates it. (<- see also AKUTAGAWA akutagawa is the reigning champion of dog motifery that is probably why i love him so much. but that is akutagawa. and i’m talkign about chuuya so im gonna dhut up now) ) i like characters with Three Betrayals COUGH COUGH COU💥💥💥💥ogh mymgod scafamocuhe 3 betrayals chuuya flags sheep dazai Im HOWLIFJG someone KILL ME NEOW ok thay doesnt make aense i just thought it was funny. anywa

fanbs fanbs* FANGS idc if they’re fake

thanks for comign ti my ted talk 🙏 i may add more later. but i didn’t want to. talk. too much. um. i think that’s out the window though

#man crow shut up challenge failed every day

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utilitycaster · 10 months ago

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I'm Reading the Drizzt Novels and You Can't Stop Me: Exile

I DID knock a second book out, which means at this rate I will start reading books I haven't already read by May if we go by "two in a month" but by late March if we go by "one a week" I should probably speed this up.

Exile is much simpler plot wise and also, despite being the middle child of the Dark Elf trilogy, is the best, because it's Drizzt Depression Hours and also is our last long look at Menzoberranzan drama for a while.

So Drizzt and his lavender orbs ran away from Menzoberranzan at the end of Homeland, and Exile covers this period. Basically, being alone in the Underdark is soul-crushing, and he develops a dissociative identity he calls The Hunter who is focused on survival, but is at the risk of losing his personhood but for Guenhwyvar, who, as an astral plane summoned spirit of a panther, can only be around half a day every two days. He is fucking losing it and himself and is constantly having internal battles because he's so desperately lonely he risks being found by potentially hostile creatures but also The Hunter is like STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING and generally he is utterly miserable. I enjoy this kind of shit in fiction, so this is great.

Back in Menzoberranzan, House Do'Urden, with help from Bregan D'aerthe (more on this in a second), wrecks but doesn't fully annihilate House Hun'ett but Head Matron Baenre is like "you shall absorb House Hun'ett and take your place on the ruling council of the eight top matrons" to Malice because Lolth wills it. Why does Lolth will it? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Anyway SiNaFay Hun'ett does NOT like this but goes along with it, pretending to be the eldest Do'Urden daughter. Briza Do'Urden, meanwhile, hates this.

Let's talk about Bregan Da'erthe because it's led by the greatest fucking guy ever: Jarlaxle. Jarlaxle is, undeniably, the most gay-coded character that has ever fucking existed. He is a bald drow man (in a matriarchal society) and exists outside the house structure, running a band of (male) rogues and mercenaries and assassins for hire and is basically making the most of his low status by being 100% only out for himself at all times. His outfit is rainbow colored in both the heat spectrum (this is how drow darkvision is explained, that they simply have infrared) AND the regular light spectrum. He owns what I think I described as boots of cuntiness which permit him to be soundless OR make sound, and canonically in a later book deliberately makes heel click sounds on a soft carpet in order to be Like That. He is generally at all times introduced as being one of a kind and out of the bounds of typical drow society and I love him.

The core of the plot actually kicks off when Malice sends Dinin and Briza (Drizzt's older brother and sister) to find him in the tunnels and kill him. They do find him, but fail to kill him, and Drizzt realizes "oh huh the highlight of my entire fucking year was my horrible siblings trying to murder me bc I'm so touch-starved that the lash of Briza's whip feels good, I should...do something about this." (He is also tormented bc he nearly breaks his vow to never kill another drow; as a paladin fan I love someone tormented by a nearly broken vow but like, babygirl they tried to kill you, you're being silly). What he does, because there's no therapy in the Underdark, is start stalking the svirfnebli, and eventually he sneaks into Blingdenstone, where they live. He turns himself in and basically gives himself over to their mercy on the grounds that he'd rather die among a relatively decent-seeming society than become more and more murderous in the tunnels. This will be echoed in a very unsubtle way by another character later.

Malice, realizing that Lolth is getting really mad that they can't seem to kill Drizzt, asks for a major boon which is inexplicably called Zin-carla, which basically lets her semi-puppet/semi-observe through the eyes of a reanimated Zaknafein, on the grounds that he is the only person who can probably kill Drizzt and also, well, it's real malicious. To do this, she sacrifices SiNaFay, which she and Briza think is just grand. Drizzt is at this time getting interrogated by gnomes who have silly names and talk a bit like Yoda, but eventually he asks about the gnome whom he spared during a patrol years ago. This gnome, named Belwar Dissengulp (this is not remotely the stupidest name in this series) vouches for him and also has sweet stone-working hands. He takes in the deeply traumatized Drizzt, who, after a brief but mercifully non-lethal Hunter outburst while hanging out with some gnome youths, starts to reacclimate to society and be like "wow so you're NOT all scheming against each other constantly? I must be in paradise." The gnomes begin to accept him as well and return his surrendered scimitars and panther, and all is very heartwarming until one day the Zakafein attacks.

This comes to the attention of the council of Blingdenstone because one of them, named Firble (also not the stupidest name in this series) is paying Jarlaxle for intel. This all travels up the line to King Schnicktick (still not the stupidest name in this series but we're getting up there) who's like Drizzt you gotta leave, and he does, but Belwar goes with him, so it's way less sad!

The rest of the book is their adventures running from Zaknafein and Drizzt being like "but my father is dead! but how" and I went long on the summary of the earlier stuff so the important things are:

They come across a pech (intelligent little rock creature) who has been polymorphed into a hook horror by an evil wizard and is losing himself and becoming the monster, in, yes, a very unsubtle and literal parallel to Drizzt. They call him Clacker and travel with him.

They run into the evil and deeply unhinged wizard who has a (written) accent I can best describe to TAZ fans as "Magic Brian" and best describe to D20 fans as "Romance Partner Baron from the Baronies." I am not an audiobook woman but I'm tempted to see how this is done in audio format.* Anyway Clacker loses himself to a rage and murders the wizard (Brister Fendlestick, not the stupidest name etc) and Drizzt is currently a fighter and Belwar has very limited abilities re: magic as well so they can't do anything about this. Also it's 2e right now so idk if you can just dispell or if you do need the original wizard.

The crew gets trapped by illithids who do their creepy-ass mind-control but as Zak is undead, he comes through like a sword tornado and unintentionally frees Drizzt, Belwar, and Clacker from their mind-slavery. Combat between our heroes, Zak, AND the illithids ensues and as Drizzt considers returning to Menzoberranzan to kidnap a wizard to help Clacker, Zak kills Clacker.

All of the above is interspersed with multiple cuts to Malice losing her shit as she focuses on controlling Zak from afar. Jarlaxle and Matron Baenre occasionally muse on the fate of House Do'Urden, which is truly up in the air as all this happens. House Baenre lends soldiers to help House Do'Urden defend itself while Malice is occupied; Dinin notices Bregan D'aerthe among them.

Drizzt and Zak have a final showdown in a cavern with ledges and also a giant pool of acid. Malice briefly loses control of Zak, who wrests control of his spirit and explains the situation to Drizzt and then jumps into the acid, ending his undeath. This is VERY bad for Malice, who is already as discussed falling apart (mostly figuratively but she has been rapidly aging as well).

Briza immediately stabs her mother to become the new Matron (Briza SUCKS but also this does make sense in that it's clear Malice has failed Lolth so it is the best chance for the house). However, House Baenre then launches its attack. Briza and Maya (who really has a very minor role in all this, Drizzt's unseen sister; fanfic writers this is some fertile ground for toxic yuri) are killed but Vierna is taken as essentially a spoil of war/powerful asset to be folded into the strength of Baenre. Dinin meanwhile is recruited by Jarlaxle, and seeing no other choice, takes it. (Fanfic writers this is some fertile ground for toxic yaoi).

Drizzt returns briefly to Blingdenstone with Belwar but is asked to leave as he did pose a threat by being there and, frankly, agrees. He decides to go to the surface with Guenhwyvar and see what happens next.

Anyway iirc book 3's most memorable things are 1. some sort of tragic event involving children who call Drizzt a "Drizzit" 2. Mooshie, who is not canonically Quebecois but is in vibes, taking Drizzt in. After that we jump to the wildly tonally different Crystal Shard (and Icewind Dale Trilogy) which I will attempt to summarize more briefly and with minimum grumbling about how much Wulfgar is a timesuck.

*apparently the guy who reads the Drizzt novels on audiobook is Victor Bevine, who is also CEO of some sort of Parkour-related foundation. However, Jason Charles Miller played Drizzt in a video game in 2013 which is very cool.

#i'm reading the drizzt novels and you can't stop me #m reads lod #long post

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lvsifer · 1 year ago

Note

For the latest character ask game:

8, 12 (something I don't know yet if there is), 14 and 17 for Mairon/Sauron because I'm a predictable person

1, 5 and 9 for Feanor

3, 21 and 25 for Kylo Ren

Omg mein Feini these are SO much, I am jumping from wall to wall. <3

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

I am not a fan when he is written with Melkor as an abusive ship. To each their own, but that is not at all how I see them.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Okay, the only one I might not have told you yet is, that in a real-world AU, he'd be French. Might have been the Lestat influence on me. But. SEE THE VISION. Also, look, to finally settle our horse dicourse: what about him riding on a cool skeleton horse like in that one painting we both reblogged?

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

High femme goth in-universe. Real world AU, I'd put him in a lot of gold and pearls and furs. In-universe getting more and more goth as Necromancer/Sauron. More plain as Annatar (Shadow of Morder my beloved), and Slut (tm) when he is Ar Pharazon's slave.

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

I don't think there is one I can think of right now. I am either insanely horny about ships with him or shove them aside in complete disgust. Polarising guy.

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

HAHAHAHHAHAHHA. This bastard needs to be smacked against the wall like a mosquito. Love him for his hot unbearable cuntiness and the war crimes, hate him for the same reason. Needs to be pegged.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Had to think on this, but Hozier - Eat Your Young.

Esp this bit:

Pull up the ladder when the flood comes Throw enough rope until the legs have swung Seven new ways that you can eat your young Come and get some Skinning the children for a war drum

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

Would kill him on sight.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

What the movies have done to him after Force Awakens. The whole redemption bit was just...so bad.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Ohhh, I love how immediate he feels as a character and how unrefined he is. This rawness mixed with his absolutely pathetic desire to be wanted by those who despise him (Hux, or imo Vader of he were still life. Have written fic about this.)

Nothing in particular that I don't like!

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Man it's been a while. I think I first saw fanart of him on my dash shortly after TFA came out and thought "who is this cool brooding goth"? Now I have written so much about him, probably some of the most I have ever written for a character (did not expect that tbh) and have a million head canons for him. He's my horrible son. <3

#fraeuleinfriedhof #character ask game #<3 #thank you for all these asks mein Feiniheini!!!!!

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nosramus · 1 year ago

Note

literally ignored every red flag related to brother guy bc I remembered you posting abt him Ages ago & im so glad i did. he’s so cunty I love him

SOOOOOO GLAD to hear it. i know he's so bitchy but man... the first time i played the game + when i hadn't even known outside of his horrible exterior i still enjoyed him. really hard to love but idk i like em like that... bitchy and prickly.

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lacependragon · 1 year ago

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Once again consumed by the unending annoyance and rage at people caring more about a pair of fictional women kissing (badly animated, at that, it's so fucking stiff) over the treatment of real-life people who are actually, really suffering. Who have been harmed and abused. Who continue to struggle.

Oh, and if it's not the fictional women, it's the bird man.

Like. You'd rather support a sexist, ableist, racist, transphobic, cunty organization and throw them your money eagerly and willingly, while pretending they aren't horrible, to continue being this horrible, all over a pair of fictional women kissing than support trans and queer creators.

When canon is created by a bunch of prejudiced chucklefucks you take the canon FROM THEM and make your OWN while arguing that they need to PAY THEIR FUCKING WORKERS.

Go read your fucking fanfiction! God knows none of you write it. Or else you wouldn't whine so hard about creators taking too long.

"But all shows are like that."

I don't care. I don't buy Spiderverse merch. I don't buy RWBY merch. And I certainly don't beg for a shitty organization to greenlight another season of a show made by shitty people just so I can watch them abuse and belittle and fire everyone ELSE on their crew who ISN'T a fucking freelancer or contract worker.

Write a fucking fanfiction and stop acting like a show who keeps firing EVERYONE WHO CARES ABOUT IT is actually good enough to "justify" (no such thing) the massive harm and hatred of queer and trans people within the workspace, the livelihoods destroyed, and the careers forever tossed aside.

There is no CRWBY.

The writing is shit.

And more importantly: real people are getting hurt.

Write a fucking fanfiction. Stop using the fucking V10 hashtag. And remember that real world people are suffering and that if you condone this suffering, you are shitty.

Writing fic and drawing fanart is great! But seriously you chucklefucks drop the fucking tag.

No show, especially one that is:

fatphobic (only villainous or perverted characters are fat)

colourist & racist (all dark skinned characters are villainous or die, with the exception of fucking EMERALD and Oscar, but we have Hazel, Arthur, and Sienna to start)

ableist (no one is allowed to go without prosthetics, scars exist only for vibes, disability is never given a nuanced discussion, demonization of mental illness, not to mention the entirety of Ruby's storyline in V9)

queerphobic (toxic masculinity is everywhere, Ren's basically the only guy allowed to be remotely feminine, the obnoxious lack of queer men on screen due to RT's well-documented homophobia)

or sexist (yeah you'd think it wouldn't be, but when you consider the amount of V9 that is focused on Jaune at the detriment of focusing on the TITULAR CHARACTER'S MENTAL HEALTH, and considering this isn't the first time, I'm calling it)

...should have this much of a stranglehold on people's lives! It's not fucking worth it!

I love RWBY. I have loved RWBY since the Red Trailer. Those four girls mean a lot to me. I also acknowledge that it is full of fucking flaws that I work very hard to overcome and rewrite in my fanfics.

So, do like me:

Write a fucking fanfiction.

It's better than the show's actual writing, these days, anyway. And this doesn't hurt real life people who RT continues to harm just because, I dunno, they fucking can?

Anyway I'm disappointed in people. You can want V10 without using the hashtag. You can want V10 while speaking up about how people are mistreated and you don't want it to continue. You can want V10 and be happy to wait.

But if you prioritize the tenth season of a fictional web show over fixing the problems within the company, both specifically and as a whole, that are destroying people's lives, then you're just a loser.

Just a fucking internet loser.

#lace speaks #rant #3 #4 #5 #rwde #rt hate

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links-hella-fine-booty · 11 months ago

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2023

Holy shit. This year had to have been the most eventful year of my life and that's saying something.

Beginning of last year, Gavin and I were struggling to do whatever we could to find an apartment. Well, come February, we did. We finally were able to cross the biggest gap in our lives and relationship. I packed my stuff and suddenly, I was with him and living in Texas. My 28th birthday came and I got to spend it with friends. I haven't spent a birthday with a friend in so long. It felt wonderful to have people that wanted to be around me.

April came around and another one of my biggest dreams came true. I finally got my first puppy. Bliz has been a name for a dog I wanted for years and now he's my precious baby. I love my dog so much. He might be a little special needs as I've come to discover, but he's perfect and I know that fate brought my Bliz and I together. AND along with April, I got my beautiful, gorgeous, handsome, cunty, stunning, sweet, passionate, loving new pookie Niran. He literally brought me back to Overewatch single handedly and I love him. Fell for that man harder than any other fictional man ever. I want him carnally fr.

May was lovely and just as exciting. Not only did we once again have a wonderful time with friends for Gavin's birthday, but we got a new baby as well. Toast and Bliz actually got along and she was our kitten. Sly little thing she is, but I can't imagine life without her. Never was a cat person but I suppose she really changed me. I love my fatass little cat.

June was, hard. While being so excited to see Mexico for the first time ever in the following month, my dad ended up in the hospital. Just after Father's day. Quite possibly the scariest thing my family has ever had to go through. Weeks of nothing but worry and stress. He pulled through, but he will never be how he used to be. He's mostly in a wheelchair and can no longer walk on his own. I miss my father. I miss him so much. I took for granted all the times we went to the grocery store and taking him to the bank. I know everyone says it, but do not take time for granted. It really can be gone in an instant. I am happy to say my dad is okay. Him making it to his 81st birthday and to the New Year, means everything. I want nothing but comfort for him this upcoming year, and for my mom and sister to take it easy too. We all love him.

July, was wonderful. I got to go to Mexico with Gavin's family. They showed me nothing but kindness and caring the whole time. Mexico was beautiful and I want to go back. I have to get my passport updated but hey I will. After Mexico, it was back home to NJ. Being back home felt so right and I wish Gavin and I could move over there, but it's not in the cards right now. But! I enjoyed a great time seeing my dad and going to the Jersey Shore. Time with my mom, sister, and dad pretty much recharged me. Stayed about two weeks longer than intended but I know in the long run I needed that.

August. God. August. It started out great. We were back home and Gavin was ready for his appointment to start T. Both of us were so happy that he could finally start his journey. We went, he got it, life felt so good. However, it seemed like Gavin and I couldn't catch a break and life decided, "yeah, throw them in a car accident." Gavin's car was towed and we were in horrible pain. My stomach was so bruised I couldn't bend down and Gavin could barely use his hands. A whole week of stress and anxiety over what to do now that we didn't have a car. Thankfully his parents were once again, so kind, caring, and understanding that we were able to get a new car. His name is Ramram and he's kept us safe which is all we could ask for.

September wasn't so bad other than learning two of our friends, weren't the people we thought they were. October was pretty okay which was nice. Throughout these months it was mostly financial stress which we still have but the hell am I supposed to do about it at this point.

November. I usually hate November. Halloween is gone and done and I don't really care too much about Thanksgiving. But I suppose Gavin changed that. After weeks of severe depression and anxiety, crying every day, it all stopped. He proposed. He had gotten me the most beautiful ring. Goth and elegant. With one question, everything melted away and I haven't cried a sorrow tear since.

Now that it's December, I realize just how many things happened and how things still are happening. My family and family's friends accept my engagement and are excited for me. They are happy. I'm planning a wedding. I made it far enough in life that I am getting married. I'm getting married next October. I'm still tearing up as I write this because 19 year old Lauren didn't think she'd make it to 20, let alone 27. I'm getting married. It's incredible. Other than being in a dream like state from that, of course I had to get a whole ass addiction to Baulder's Gate 3. Perhaps it's not the traditional dnd experience but I can't say I don't love it. I now get to have some fictional men be here without me needing them. I get to have Astarion and Halsin and Gale at my happiest. That's, so different than all of the ones before them, Niran included. It almost doesn't feel real.

2023 was something else. 2024 is going to be wonderful. I am soon going back to NJ to plan where to have our wedding. Gavin and I will have our first anniversary and Valentine's day together too! I get to go back to NJ a few more times for wedding plans and vacation and then the wedding. My biggest hope for 2024, is that Gavin and I can start a process to start my dream.

I want to be a mother. I wanted to be a mother since as long as I can remember. If I can just start this journey into being a mother, everything up until that point will have been worth it. Every moment of stress, pain, tears, and more. I hope sometime next year I can make a post saying we've succeeded. I know the process won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

Happy New Year everyone. I made it through this year. I can make it through next year, and you can too.

#cia mode activated #teared up like 4 times writing all this #long post

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velvetporcelain · 6 months ago

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“ no. “ —- I thought. this is my time.

let see if we can channel the dull chatter. i see you have came to other one of my sermons. it’s nice to see you back my love.

nothing to preach today. just chatter. today i ran. and I had this picture in my mind of it being absolutely horrible. — but it wasn’t. (proving everything before but is bullshit) —- I walked the first half mile, then ran the two miles — i felt so in control- i felt good- i felt present. my gym boyfriend has been avoiding me, he’s angry at me because he thought i was easy. hahahahahahahahaha. so - i am in the middle of a set— he walks up to me — I don’t get up, I finish my set- make him wait. he said he was driving by and looked to see if my car was in the parking lot. *he knows my car, duly noted* — I said “where have u been?” But he was beating around the bush— “meh I’ve been —“ I cut him off and said “shut up, you hate me right now” —-he stopped and stared at me — and starting laughing — I was nodding my head up and down laughing as well. I’m not stupid. He wanted me to leave with him, god I must have stupid bitch tattooed on my face too— I was like shaking my head in rejection— — “have a nice day mark— I will see you tomorrow” —— he got all excited and wide eyed and said “you’ll be here tomorrow?” With an undertone of anticipation and excitement. —- I smile and laughed — “yes, I will be here tomorrow” —-he says— “oh I got a big workout tomorrow” 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭—- omg this is so fun. 🤭 yes, i may be just a bit bored with life. he obviously has not stopped thinking about me — he’s tried to forget me, but he can’t. I am all he thinks about. — poor thing— sometimes i do feel bad manipulating the fuck out of this man, but it’s worth the show— fuck— sorry, that was mean.

it’s more of a selfish desire to know what i am capable of. just how potent IS my femininity? i already know how potent my masculinity is — so i am genuinely curious, trying to remain my authentic self to see if it changes the way someone actually feels about me. i will no longer make men my identity, as i have made my husband mine for so long. i want to be me, but i also want to be a human being too. i have a thing for mind cruelty— dark psychology— now I wouldn’t do this on anyone i loved —-that would psychopathic—- i like to think that what i do is more enigmatic to the moral psyche. hence my deep dive into to the genealogy of morals —— to better understand myself and our instinctual love for cruelty. If you judge me, then you have probably been on the receiving end of the manipulation—. sorry, that was mean.

anyways, tomorrow i plan on going in and saying “it’s my birthday tomorrow, what are you gonna get me?” —- and see what he says. 😌 I know, cunty. he’s my little experiment, leave me alone. *puts nose in air*

nashville is coming soon. i can’t wait to be my entire self there— forget about all the fables for awhile- be around women that i love. we haven’t had one of these together in about ten years—- im excited to go out with them as adult women———-

—- full grown queen bees looking for honey, well at least i will be the one mind fucking. and no one will know but me, and everyone will feel my beautiful, love goddess energy. 🙇‍♀️✨

-x

#wednesday vibes #hello void #hello tumblr #raw thoughts #girl interrupted #dream girl #alpha female #diary #tumblr diary #diaryposting #personal diary #poetic #writeblr #writing #writers and poets #poetry #poetry blog

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beef-brisket · 2 months ago

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Ozzie: You're introductions still need some work, baby

Ozzie walked over to Lucifer, who gulped. Fuck this guy was huge. He doesn't seem as cunty as Mammy or whatever his name is, so maybe this'll be okay.

Ozzie: Asmodeus, the Sin of Lust, it's a pleasure to meet you, Luci~

Lucifer smile, thank god, he's lovely. They shake hands. And he's got a good grip.

Lucifer: it's nice to meet you, Asmodeus!

Ozzie: oh please, call me Ozzie~

Adam smiled as he watched them talk, Ozzie was always kind to Adams partners. Even after the 60th. The plan was to introduce Lucifer to Ozzie first but that's Mammon for you.

Ozzie: so, is this our new daddy, daddy~?

Adam rolled his eyes. Of course, he'd bring that up.

Adam: it's up to you, hun. After Mammoms tantrum the other day, I've decided that you all can decide on who Lucifer is to you.

Ozzie: wait- you introduced Daddy to Mam before me? I'm actually insaulted!

Adam: pft, you know you're always the first, baby. Stupid bastard called me having another meltdown over you and Fizz and he decided that doing it in person would be a good idea! Fucker broke me door!

Ozzie: again?

Adam: a-fucking-gain! That's the 25th one! I'm getting tired of making new doors!

Ozzie: it doesn't take that much effort, Adam-

Adam: Adam? Don't ever fucking call me that again!

Ozzie laughed: Oh, come on! I didn't want to embarrass you infront of your man!

Adam: having my son call me 'Adam' is very embarrassing!

Ozzie: okay! Okay! Fine... dad.

Adam: eh, better, I guess

After some back and forth, they eventually started talking about how the crystal works. Lucifer was absolutely amazing something like this excitsted. He still felt horrible for Adam, being stuck here, forever. He hoped at least his kids would be able to go to earth.

Ozzie: wait- you're telling me Michael- big brother asshole licker, taint kisser, finder sucker-

Adam: Ozzie, please, that's you're uncle you're talking about... but yes.

Ozzie: he banished himself to purgatory so he can travel between realms? Fo you?

Adam: I know... definitely not what I expected. Michael was the most loyal of us. And our relationship had been so strained. I- I have to do right by him- really make it worth it.

Ozzie: yeah, make it count dad. I don't want you hurt again- or Michael for that matter. And uh... it'll be nice to actually meet him

Adam: you did meet him, baby. I showed you off at a meeting because you were too clingy-

Ozzie: you said u was adorable! And you had to show me off!

Adam: well, that to

Lucifer smiled as Adam kissed Ozzie on the head- fire? Head fire. They were adorable, Lucifer couldn't help but wonder what the other sins are like.

They talked for hours. Ozzie gushing about an imp called Fizz, he showed him a picture of them together, they looked very sweet. He'd love to meet Fizz sometime.

Ozzie: sometimes Fizz reminds me a lot of dad! It's like their the same person!

Adam: Stop bullshitting Ozzie! And Fizz better take that as a compliment! Anyone would love to be like me!

After having a quick lesson on using the crystal, Ozzie said his goodbyes. Saying they must do dinner together, so Adam can meet Fizz. Adam was more than willing. He looked excited almost.

Once in bed, Adam was out to it, but Lucifer couldn't sleep. This was his last day in Hell. He was so worried that he'd forget how to use the crystal and he wouldn't be able to get back. What if it broke? Just stopped working? What if Adam thought he left him? How was he meant to explain that when he dies?

He was sure it'll be fine. It had to be.

Devil and the Priest!au

(Feel free to change the name- it's 1am where I am, so my brain is starting to fry lol)

@things-arent-what-they-seem66 @fanofstuff01

---

Lucifer drove through the country side, he's been behind the wheel for nearly 5 hours. He didn't realize how much of a drive getting to this monastery. He knew it was remote but this is getting ridiculous- he should have brought snacks.

He glanced out his window every now and then to take in the scenery. He's currently driving past a large body of water, where he spotted a small island. He wishes he was over there, with no worries or expectations. With no one but himself. The Vatican has been on his ass lately about making this trip. Apparently, there was something 'dark- and 'unsettling' at this monastery. If any of the priests he knew were anything to go by, it was probably just them. He swore they refused to die, they had more wrinkles than brain cells.

Lucifer turned his radio up, some type of rock song was one, it was a big no no to be listening to music like this, it's his car. Driver picks the music, and the Vatican shuts their cake hole.

Finally, as the sun was setting, Lucifer arrived at the monastery. The large stone building loomed over him, maybe the Vatican was right, this place was unsettling. He felt like he was being watched, the multiple colours in the sky masking how decrepit this place actually is. Pulling out a brochure from his pocket, Lucifer couldn't help but smirk, they're really trying to market this place like it's a holiday retreat.

Lucifer: "Welcome to the Hazbin. Find not only sanctuary and enlightenment but also beaches and the best crab around!" ...right, definitely staying away from the crab then...

After an exhausted sign, Lucifer licked his car and picked up his bags. Making his way towards the large wooden doors, Lucifer couldn't help but dread the next two or three hours, all he wanted was to hop into bed and close the world off foe a few hours but he'd probably have to take the whole tour and- ew- meeting people.

He shuddered at the thought.

Lucifer: I wonder if I could convince them to leave the formalities till tomorrow...

Lucifer gripped a huge, iron door knocker and banged it three times. He knew this could take a while so he prepared to get comfortable- until the door was pulled open.

Priest: Hello! And welcome to the Hazbin! How can I assist you this fine evening!

Lucifer: uh- yeah- hi, my name Luicfer, I've been told to come here by the Vatican- I've been told you're expecting me...?

Priest: hm... Lucifer...

The man flicked through a small book, humming every so often. What's the point in having glasses if you still can't read a damn book.

Lucifer: look man- sir- it's been a long drive, I'd really like to just get to sleep-

Priest: ah! Yes! Here you are, Lucifer! Please, come right in! We've been expecting you for hours, your overseer said you would be here this morning- but better late than never I suppose!

The man moved aside to let Lucifer in. He really didn't like this guy, but that's not new, priest are pretty... eccentric.

The man shit the door behind him, using at least six locks to secure it.

Priest: pardon my manners, Lucifer! My name is Alastor- Father Alastor. And I'll be your superior while you're here

Ah, great. He has to answer to this... lovely man. Forcing a smile, Lucifer did what he did best: lie.

Lucifer: that's very exciting Father Alastor, look forward to working with you and getting to know this place more personally!

Alastor: oh, I could imagine! I'm sure you've heard a lot about me! I've been in charge of five other monasteries before this one! All saw a raise in volunteers and profits.

Lucifer: that's fantastic, Father. It's a real honor to be working on this project with you-

Alastor: "project", yes, that's one word to describe it.

Alastor lead Lucifer down a long hall, hebcouldbt believe how quiet it was. He was told there were at least 60-70 nuns and other workers here but it just seemed abandoned.

Thankfully, Alastor showed Lucifer to his room, it was large with a queen bed in the middle. It didn't have much furniture, just a set of draws and a desk out looking the garden. It was dead and overgrown, but the air was fresh, he'll have to start taking up writing again.

Alastor: well! Lucifer, it is a real pleasure to have you here! Tomorrow I'll show you around and I introduce you to some of the other occupants here- there are quite a few so I do expect you to introduce yourself to some of them in your own time.

Lucifer dumped his bags on his bed, and turned to face Alastor.

Lucifer: that understandable. Thank you for this Alastor, I'll see you in the morning-

Alastor: bright and early Mr Lucifer. I like to get the day started as the break of dawn

Of course he does.

Lucifer: great! I better get some sleep then

Alastor: yes, you should. Goodnight Lucifer

Finally, Lucifer was alone. Or at least he hoped. He still hasn't shaking that feeling from earlier. Except this time, he was certain nothing was watching him, Alastor seemed to be the only other living thing here. And that's giving the bastard a lot of credit. Not once did he stop smiling- Lucifer already wants to wipe that look off his face.

All Lucifer wanted to do was sleep, so he got comfortable and started to drift off.

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